This book is a memoir of Aran Kei’s time as a member of Takarazuka, as well as her post-Takarazuka career and memories of her childhood. It was published in 2010 to commemorate the 20th year of her stage career. It also features messages from Takarazuka classmates and other colleagues and theatre artists she has worked with.

Some paragraph breaks have been added for ease of reading in English. I have also collected many archival images from various sources to illustrate the book.

“Ability conquers luck”

I failed the TMS entrance exam so many times, and spent a really long time as second supporting star; I suppose, as far as you can say ‘luck is part of ability’ that I didn’t have much ability. I felt like, with this being the case, I needed to make the effort to get that ability and defeat luck, and I think that is what opened a way for me.

In 2011, I encountered many works where I portrayed a woman’s life, such as Edith Piaf, MITSUKO ~Love Beyond Borders~, and Antony and Cleopatra. I had always felt a desire in my heart to be in a show focusing on showing one woman’s life, but I had never said anything about it. I think that I was drawn towards my encounters with those shows means that luck may have turned my way as well now.

I’ve never really been one to say my desires or goals out loud. This is because I don’t want to restrain myself by putting them into words, and I want to take on every role that comes my way equally. Outside of work, as well, I’m bad at exposing my inner life to other people around me. I know that letting other people see your weakness can be a way to get rid of stress, but for me, if I do that it just makes me even more stressed.

People tell me that if I tell someone else instead of holding things inside it’s refreshing, but a lot of the time when I do talk to someone I just feel regret afterwards: “I wish I hadn’t said all that.” Even so, when other people have come to me for advice I’ve been really positive. All kinds of clear and specific advice pops out, like why don’t you try this? I think that as I listen to the other person and get into advising them, I discover things about my true nature that I’ve hidden, so it’s like I’m advising the weaker aspects of myself.

But though I say that, it’s not as if I spend all my time criticizing myself and worrying. Director Ogita Kouichi, who has looked after me since I was in the Takarazuka Music School¹, once told me “when you’re onstage ‘Aran Kei’ has something unimaginable”, and when I’m reading letters from fans I often realize that the audience is feeling things I didn’t even think of when I was delving into my role, so I’m filled with gratitude.

For the musicals I performed in after my retirement, the central group of audience members was my fans from when I was in Takarazuka, who support me warmly no matter what happens, almost like a family. But Antony and Cleopatra is a show where there are people who come to every show of Ninagawa Yukio’s, and people who love Shakespeare; all different kinds of theatre fans will come. I wonder how a more critical audience seeing me for the first time will view me; I’m both excited and scared to find out.

I don’t care about whether it’s a lead or supporting role as long as it’s interesting. I want to keep challenging myself more and more from now on, and while I’m focusing on stage work currently, I’d like to try being in films as well. There are a lot of people who think of Takarazuka as its own special world, so there’s definitely still prejudice against it. I know it might take a long time for me to be recognized as an actress in my own right, and I intend to be prepared for that.

I don’t have such clear goals as I did during my time in Takarazuka, such as making it into the Takarazuka Music School, or becoming Top Star, but I want to perform each role in front of me in my own way and give my all to performing.

1 – Ogita Kouichi left Takarazuka in 2008, but is still active as a director and playwright elsewhere.