Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible. 120% Darling has around 24 chapters, and I plan to post one every Friday.
It’s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!
For a table of contents with links to all the chapters, go here.
The core is vital to being a ‘man’
We’ve talked about singing.
We’ve talked about acting.
Next, I’ll talk a bit about dance.
Takarasiennes can all sing, dance, and act, so the saying goes…
In theory, they learn all that during 2 years of intense instruction in the Takarazuka Music School, before going on to be students of the Takarazuka Revue, but…
Actually, in Takarazuka, it seems like everyone can say things like ‘Before entering the Music School, I studied ballet or whatever sort of Western dance, or Japanese traditional dance, for over 10 years!!’
So, what about me!?
I was a complete amateur, to the point you’d want to burst out laughing if you had to watch me.
Even now I wish I could laugh and gloss over the fact I was really lucky to even get in. Hahahahaha…
But, it wasn’t as if I hated dancing as a child or anything.
I would dance at the O-Bon festival, and at school rallies (?), and I’d copy the dance moves of Pinky and the Killers1…all the time (?) (Ah…that makes my age pretty obvious…doesn’t it)
But, when it came to ballet…I found it reeeally hard.
Even the very basics have so much meaning, you see!!
But.
Mori Keaki…
As you’ve seen in the prior incidents, I was the type to suddenly get wholeheartedly ‘into’ something. This was in the Music School.
As it turned out, the girl whose name was right before mine in the class roll was one of those 10-year-career ballet dancers. We would dance together most of the time, and she would tell me “if your foundational technique is perfect, your ability to express yourself will be perfect”; they went together, basically.
Ah~, when I was dancing with her, I at least felt like a real prima donna!! It felt as if we were floating over the lake together. Wah~…so much fun. (At the time, we were working on Swan Lake. Yes.) Therefore, generally, since I had become a swan I couldn’t tell or care if my legs were up or down (?) from where they were supposed to be. Isn’t that great!?
So that was the state of Mori Keaki.
Even after entering the company, in dance scenes I didn’t really bother with technique, and really just went along with the feelings of the scene when dancing.
Basically, I would totally bluff my way through.
However.
“If people are watching me…they’ll figure out I don’t actually know the basics!” I thought. “I wasn’t really a dancer in the first place…”
As for singing.
I wrote some about it before, but.
My voice was certainly decent… When I was in the Music School, I was actually a soprano!!
As for acting.
Grandpa Brunner had ‘opened my eyes’ to what it was to be a Takarazuka actor and a professional stage performer, but…
I had aaaalways been in love with acting.
And, I’d ended up being given various really noticeable roles even in junior performances and Bow performances.
“Your dancing is…not really there,” people would say… Wahhhh~
No matter how hard I might try, compared to someone who had been studying constantly since they were a little kid, of course there would still be a difference. I would end up thinking stuff like that.
“Not much I can do now. I’ll just have to put all my emotions into it!!”
Ooof course.
But then.
Going back to Valentino.
My voice was broken.
But, I had to sing anyway.
How can I describe it…what it felt like when my voice was broken…hmmm…
When you break your vocal chords, it’s like a worn-out hose full of holes or something.
A worn-out hose.
Even if you run water through it at the same pressure from before it was worn out, all the water will leak out in the middle, and in the end what comes out is only a few drips, right?
It’s kind of, like that.
The air you try to use for vocalizing all seems to vanish and leave nothing but a hollow sound.
Therefore, in order to sing at the same volume as before it was broken, it takes, obviously, a lot more lung capacity than normal.
But, suddenly increasing your lung capacity is not something you can actually do.
So, what to do!?
Increase your ability to use the air already in your lungs!!
Basically, it’s just abdominal muscle training.
That’s what it was…
But, it’s really only because I’m looking back on it now, that I can relate this so calmly…
At the time I was actually in Valentino, though, I was thinking, I have to get my voice to function somehow! So I was totally desperate.
So I was really focused on that…
And I ended up really strengthening my core muscles.
I had only been thinking about my voice all the while, but one day, we were working on the choreography of a dance scene.
And then.
“What’s this!?”
I wasn’t struggling at all. I could lift my legs up so easily…
“Hey…what’s going on!? What’s up with me!?”
That was the result of my abdominal muscle training. So, my waist and hips as well.
Once I had some more core strength, the things that were impossible before became really easy, you see.
Maybe that seems a bit strange, but anyway.
“Hmmm~ For men, it’s the core…” I thought.
Women tend to just breathe from the chest; so, only the capacity around their rib cage.
However,
Men…
“They breathe from the whole core…”
There’s a lot more intensity.
“So, my abdominal training!?”
It had really helped with using my lower limbs as well.
This was a new ‘discovery’ too.
Later on, this became a really important point among everything about performing as an otokoyaku.
Anyway, because of that, dancing as an otokoyaku became more and more fun for me.
With that core strength foundation.
Mori Keaki was able to feel good about dancing.
Compared to my time as a junior student……
What do you think? Isn’t it definitely a bit better!? Hahaha…
I’d like to know what you think. Please tell me sometime!
1 – A popular group of the late 60s and early 70s.