Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible.
It’s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!
For a table of contents with links to all the chapters, go here.
(In this chapter, she spends a while talking about her views on marriage and the relationships between men and women – please bear in mind that she grew up in the 1970s and this book was published in 1993. Also, please note that as far as I can tell Mori has never married.)
Being a man is really hard!?
If I write too much about my father,
I feel like you’ll start thinking “Does Mori Keaki have a ‘father complex’!?”
Well, I don’t think I can really deny that 100%.
After all, apparently Mori Keaki’s ‘otokoyaku face’ looks just like my father in his younger days…
I resemble both my mother and father a lot (which just means that my mother and father also resemble each other)
Speaking of that, when I was playing Rhett Butler and Valentino, wasn’t my mother saying “Little Miko, you look just like your father… That takes me back~” and smiling happily… Yeah.
When I use slightly darker makeup and have my hair in a slicked-back pompadour, I don’t even recognize myself. It’s to the point that if I look in a mirror, I’ll feel like saying “Dad! How are you doing!?”…
And the same goes for our personalities.
The way he was the star entertainer at the police banquets, and despite being a very virtuous person, could be very happy-go-lucky at times, seem to be things he passed on to me.
Yes!
Well, even though my father was like that,
Actually,
He would say “My dream is for my daughters to become good brides!!”
Although apparently, while I was in Takarazuka, he would hold back from saying this…
After all, my mother was ‘an expert housewife’!
I feel like he must have kept thinking,
“One day, Little Miko will be like that…”
Right, Dad!?
One of the long-lasting traditions of Takarazuka is the idea that ‘Graduated Takarazuka students become remarkably good wives and mothers’.
The first reason for that is, we learn hierarchical structure without any difference between otokoyaku and onnayaku1.
And the second reason is.
That it’s a theatre of only women.
If one chooses to live as an otokoyaku, she has to perform as an ideal ‘man’, that someone might dream of, even if it’s far above what real ‘men’ are like, or the kind of man who would never exist in the real world.
Onnayaku also have to perform against the otokoyaku from a position removed from ‘real’ women, and instead perform the part of Takarazuka ‘women’.
Onnayaku students have to become ‘skilled at service’ in a way, so even if they get married, they don’t resent serving their husbands at all, one could say.
So, what about otokoyaku!?
Otokoyaku are…otokoyaku. Since they have the opportunity to perform as the ‘ideal man’ of most women in society, even if it’s for a role, they will think a lot about things like “If I was a man, in this position, would I choose my duty or my lover!?”
Therefore, maybe, otokoyaku are able to understand ‘the struggles of a man’s position’ better, perhaps…
So, if they get married.
Even if they’re not a ‘serving wife’ (although it depends on the person…ahahaha).
How do I put this…
Since she is ‘experienced’ with a man’s life, even though she is a different gender from her husband, she can become a wife who also has a feeling of being a ‘partner’ of the same gender…
I kind of feel like that.
Although I think to actual (!?) men this might seem presumptuous…
I feel this keenly after having the opportunity to be an otokoyaku for 14 years.
“Being a man is…really hard, isn’t it…”
Even though this was only for my roles,
I would have to lead my wife, and my children, while also doing my own work…
Even though all the responsibility was on my own shoulders, I had to be generous towards everyone else…
And then, adultery, somehow…
“From the man’s perspective…I kind of…understand…a bit…” (Ah, that’s scary!?)
A wife is a wife, right.
She keeps the home.
But, if you think about Oishi Kuranosuke, from my retirement performance, he trusts his wife, O-Riku, so much that he can tell her ‘You take care of things,’ with 100% confidence.
But as he is preparing for the attack on Lord Kira, this being something not to do with ‘the home’ but with ‘the world’, in this situation he ends up in a different sort of love than with his wife, for O-Ran. He becomes very fond of this woman who betrays his enemies and joins him…
A full-time housewife who is solely devoted to her husband, an ‘O-Riku type,’ might say “I don’t understand at all!”…
But I…
Kuranosuke loved both O-Riku and O-Ran…. Although, since I am a woman, I can’t say that I ‘understand’ perfectly, but even so.
“I can see why…”
If I were to get married, I might end up being someone who understands men from a really unique viewpoint.
When my husband gets home, tired from ‘fighting the good fight’ outside the house.
Then.
“I get it! It was like that for me to!!”
That kind of thing. Ahahahaha!!
I’d be a wife who was more like a comrade-in-arms…
In addition.
Since I had the opportunity to be an otokoyaku for so long, I am thoroughly acquainted with having women serving and helping me, and how grateful I felt for that.
Not just when I was playing a role, but the Takarazuka student ‘Mori Keaki’ was cared for by so many staff members and fans.
I’ll never forget how happy all of that made me…
Therefore,
If I were to get married, this time I think I would want to make my husband think ‘This makes me so happy!’ the way so many others did for me…and I think I’d really be able to do that!!
So, to make a long story short, perhaps I’ll really be able to become the ‘good wife’ that my father dreamed of… What?
“But will the housework be okay?” you say!?
Ehehe. Currently that’s a ‘no’, but…
After all, I have my ‘perfect woman!!’ mother.
If it came down to it, I’m sure she could train me into an above-average housewife.
If you know of a good match for me, please let me know (!!).
Ah, but don’t misunderstand, please.
Mori Keaki, after graduating from Takarazuka, is going to be an actress first!! I am an actress.
1 – ‘Onnayaku’ and ‘musumeyaku’ are terms that are sometimes differentiated in meaning, but Mori here just means musumeyaku.