Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible.
It’s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!
For a table of contents with links to all the chapters, go here.
“I’m going home!” …Hey, wait a moment…
So.
I didn’t fit right into that ‘Ta-dah! Congratulations on your entrance into the Takarazuka Music School!’ pattern… you see…
If I can say this, I ended up messing up in a way that was just like me.
When my sister said,
“It’s there!!”
I responded,
“Ah~ I passed!! I did it!!”
The next thing a normal student would do.
Would be to phone their parents.
I also did that very normally.
With the pay phone at the Hankyu Travel Hostel.
“Mama! Papa! I passed!! I’m satisfied now, so I’m going to come home.”
Uh…wait…
Did you people who are familiar with Takarazuka fall over in surprise?
“You can’t just go home~!!”
My sister really did fall over…
At the Takarazuka Music School,
Immediately following the results presentation, in the same building, they hold an orientation for the girls who pass.
The parents who accompanied them also gather in the hall.
“Congratulations. In the coming year, you will begin your journey as the Takarazuka Music School’s newest class of Lower Students. Therefore…”
And so on…
So there was still another event waiting for me – “The real thing is yet to come!!”
But still.
“I’m going to go home.”
My sister was flustered,
But on the other side of the phone, my parents in Sendai, although due to the distance they were a bit calmer, also seemed a bit startled (well, obviously!!).
My mother shouted at me!
“What are you saying!?”
“Huh?”
“You passed, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But that doesn’t matter~ I’m happy with just passing, so I’m going to come home.”
This is what happened.
Even I don’t like this side of my personality!
“What do you mean?” you might ask.
To tell the truth,
Although I was happy to have passed, I hadn’t known a single thing about the world of Takarazuka before then.
But over the course of the exam, I had picked things up from the other students taking the exam: ‘hierarchical relationships’ ‘such and such’ ‘so and so’…
So now that I had come this far,
I ended up feeling really scared!!
How pathetic.
And so, Mori Keaki.
Like I wrote before, my personality swings from extreme to extreme, and right now a huge closeup of my ‘coward’ side had taken over my internal cinema screen.
But…
Little by little, my heart had become calmer…
My mother said,
“Little Miko, since you went to all this trouble to actually pass, you need to do your best! Papa and Mama will be supporting you!”
“Ah………………. Really. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll do my best!”
What an odd exchange.
And so it sunk in ‘I see. I can’t go back now…’
I bit back my nervousness and tried to gather up some courage, but, I ended up having my sister lead me into the orientation by the hand, like some kind of weirdo.
And now.
From that day on,
My period of ‘culture shock’ started.
My knowledge of the world of Takarazuka was honestly totally nonexistent.
I didn’t know anything about how strict the traditional hierarchical relationship was between the Lower Students and Upper Students in the Takarazuka Music School… (Lower Students are those who have just entered. Upper Students are those in their second year. The Takarazuka Music School is only a two-year school, so there are only Lower and Upper Students. After those two years, they enter the Takarazuka Revue, and in their first year, they are called First Year Graduate Students. This is abbreviated to Ken-1.)
“Where did you come from?”
An Upper Student asked me at the reception desk of the orientation.
“From Sendai.”
“Oh, that’s in Iwate Prefecture, right.”
“No, it isn’t!! It’s in Miyagi Prefecture.”
“Well, it’s all the same, isn’t it? They’re both in the country.”
“……”
“Fine. Go in and take your seat.”
“Yes…”
I replied without much conviction, and entered the Takarazuka Music School’s lecture hall with my sister.
“What was that!? Why was that person acting so high and mighty…”
I suppose I must have thought that a little bit, but.
Before I could realize that ‘that person’ was ‘an Upper Student’.
“Congratulations on passing the entrance exam!! All of you sitting here now were the chosen ones, with an acceptance rate of 1 in 21…”
I ended up totally focused on the principal’s speech.
I totally forgot about telling my mother I was going to go home, and thought,
“I’m in Takarazuka now,”
And ended up extremely emotional (just like me…).