In Takarazuka, in order to keep up my otokoyaku image, even in my offstage life I couldn\u2019t wear skirts, and I couldn\u2019t have an \u2018ordinary\u2019 life where I did things like buy my own day to day necessities at the supermarket. Apparently once someone had a fan call out to them while they were out to buy toilet paper, and she panicked and responded by calling them by one of her classmates\u2019 names (LOL). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
People from my fan club would kindly arrange for cars to take me to the theatre and back, so there was always a conflict between my feelings of gratitude and my desire for more freedom. I didn\u2019t want to lose awareness of the common sense needed to live in the outside world due to the lengths I was going to to uphold the rules of Takarazuka. Though I understand it was necessary to become a top-class member of Takarazuka, I think I must have felt constrained by the fact that every day\u2019s schedule was laid out for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But after my retirement, I was freed from all sorts of requirements, and now I go back and forth from rehearsal by train. I don\u2019t have a car in Tokyo, and the train stations are closer so it\u2019s easier to take the train. I hadn\u2019t done \u2018ordinary things\u2019 for years, so at first I didn\u2019t even know how to buy tickets. But now I\u2019ve gotten to the point where I can easily navigate the complicated Tokyo train lines, PASMO in hand, looking up the transfers on my phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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My preferred fashion style is simple. Thinking back, even while I was in Takarazuka I didn\u2019t often put together \u2018Takarazuka-style\u2019 ensembles to wear. In Takarazuka, there are several clothing brands where you know you won\u2019t go wrong style-wise if you wear them, so, while I never experienced this, apparently there have been times where senior and junior actresses ended up wearing the same clothes to a party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Recently I\u2019ve also been going with all my fellow cast members to tiny bars, the kind that are popular with students. While I was in Takarazuka we didn\u2019t really have large group closing cast parties–generally we would just have a meal in someone\u2019s apartment–so this kind of carefree atmosphere is fun to me. Also, while I hold back during a performance run, in my private time I\u2019ll drink heartily now. I don\u2019t like whisky or brandy, but I like beer, champagne and wine, soju and sake. I get more cheerful when I drink, so I think I\u2019m a fun drunk, probably (LOL).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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When I was an otokoyaku even my emotions became very \u2018manly\u2019, so even when I got offstage I naturally had a very \u2018ladies first\u2019 attitude. I felt like I had to protect the musumeyaku, and even though I\u2019m not a very decisive person, there were a lot of situations in which I had to make important decisions. So not just my way of movement or walking, but my personality became manly as well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I don\u2019t have to make myself like that any more, so that\u2019s a relief. However, although I think I\u2019ve become properly actress-like on stage by now, in my private life that otokoyaku side slips out once in a while. When I\u2019m going to a restaurant with my castmates, even though I don\u2019t know where we\u2019re going I\u2019ll walk in front of everyone and end up leading them along; that kind of thing happens a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While I was in Takarazuka there wasn\u2019t time for romance at all, and I felt like having a love affair as a woman would be bad for me as an otokoyaku. Takarazuka fans are practically all women, and they will pick up on even the slightest change. I have experience with being popular with women, but as for being popular with men, I wish somebody would tell me how to do that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think the reason men don\u2019t approach me even though I would totally welcome them might be because the manliness I haven\u2019t completely shed wards them off (LOL). I\u2019m fine with putting my arms around my castmates\u2019 shoulders, or hugging, but I don\u2019t like showing my weak side to others. I\u2019m bad at changing how I come off to other people, so I\u2019ve been told I put up a shell sometimes. But as part of my \u2018plan to learn how to love myself\u2019 I\u2019m trying to be fond of that part of my personality also (LOL).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I like someone, a lot of the time I think \u201cOh? I didn\u2019t think that sort of person was my type at all, but\u2026\u201d No matter how old I get, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever understand that feeling of liking someone. I\u2019ve been thinking about things like that, walking around outside, riding trains, going shopping…I wanted to try having a \u2018normal\u2019 life when I retired, so I\u2019m enjoying having that wish come true right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Translators’ note: Aran is still single, but currently has 2 Russian Blue cats named Ten and Kuu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This book is a memoir of Aran Kei\u2019s time as a member of Takarazuka, as well as her post-Takarazuka career and memories of her childhood. It was published in 2010 to commemorate the 20th year of her stage career. It … Continue reading