Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a table of contents with links to all the chapters, go\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Red skin of \u2018passion\u2019 (!?)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In Takarazuka, besides the Grand Theatre, there is one other performance space called the Bow Hall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So if you call the Takarazuka Grand Theatre the \u2018large hall\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bow Hall is a \u2018medium (or maybe it\u2019s just small!?) hall\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a cozy theatre that fits about 500 people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The performances held in the Bow Hall (let\u2019s just call them \u2018Bow performances\u2019) are, as I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve guessed from the size of the theatre, on a smaller scale from the main performances in the Grand Theatre, and therefore the number of students who can appear is somewhere around half the troupe total. The length of the show\u2019s run is also shorter, around 2 weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So for us students, and for the younger directors, these Bow performances are another valuable opportunity to learn besides the junior performances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, since it\u2019s such a small theatre with such short performance runs, it\u2019s possible to put on new, experimental kinds of shows that wouldn\u2019t really work as a Grand Theatre main performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You see, since there are only about half the performers as there would be in a main performance, there are more chances for the junior students to have a real role! It\u2019s fun in a rather different way to the Grand Theatre shows, so if you happen to go to Takarazuka, I think you really ought to see a Bow performance too, so please try it!! I really recommend them!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just a little advertisement. Ahaha\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a lot of memories of Bow performances myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the first really strong impression I have is of a show called\u00a0Dawn of Lombardia<\/em>1<\/sup>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was Ken-3 Mori Keaki\u2019s first Bow Hall appearance!<\/p>\n\n\n\n So for a little baby student like I was this was a really, really delightful thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, wait a moment! Even better, I was given a role! I entered rehearsals full of both nervousness and excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As you\u2019ve seen in the prior examples (!?) Mori Keaki ended up totally taken over by Ricardo and I spent the whole time trying to feel as much like him as I could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then the dress rehearsals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The show opened the next day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, on the day of the dress rehearsal, something happened and it turned out that Nanao Tomo, who played the lead, might not be able to go on!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nanao had injured her knee earlier and it had suddenly gotten much worse. As another stage performer I can understand what she must have been going through, to have a sudden collapse like that: so frustrating, so humiliating, you\u2019d rather perform even if it killed you!! But it hurts so much\u2026 So many complicated feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the opening day of the show wasn\u2019t about to wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In case of something like this happening, midway through the rehearsals \u2018substitutes\u2019 were supposed to be assigned to all the roles, but\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n This time, somehow, who would substitute what had never been properly decided!<\/p>\n\n\n\n So. Suddenly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Director Masatsuka Haruhiko said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou do it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n To me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn\u2019t have any time to be surprised or confused or shaken, I just had to perform!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dress rehearsal started with me playing the lead role, Francois, while holding the script in one hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the dress rehearsal we were all supposed to have the same costumes as in the real performance. However, I had to substitute so suddenly that I just went as I was. Ricardo had a red blouse: I\u2019ll never forget that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I was wearing that and performing as if my life depended on it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I ended up getting so hot all over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And due to that heat, the blouse started losing its color! When the dress rehearsal ended and I took the costume off, my skin was totally red. Normally the stage costumes never lose their color like that. They\u2019re made for Takarazuka shows full of vigorous movement and dancing, after all\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n How much heat must I have been putting out for that to happen\u2026it\u2019s a mystery to me even thinking about it now\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, that blouse had some extra space to it, since it was designed for the medieval setting, so I was rehearsing with the script shoved into the front of it. I didn\u2019t know a single one of my lines, you see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy do you look like you\u2019re pregnant!?\u201d the choreographer said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, this was no time to care about appearances!! So that\u2019s how things went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the time the dress rehearsal ended, there was still no conclusion regarding whether Nanao would be able to perform or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, if by some chance the decision was \u2018no, she can\u2019t\u2019 then there was nobody else to substitute for her role but me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Director Masatsuka asked \u201cDo you want me to come home and rehearse with you there?\u201d which was very kind of him, but.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before I could rehearse, I had to learn my lines!! After all, the show opened tomorrow!! I couldn\u2019t perform with my script in my blouse, looking like I belonged in a maternity ward\u2026no way, no way!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I left the rehearsal, it was raining outside\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n It reminded me of my hometown\u2026no, nothing that cool. But, rain. Compared to it all being bright and clear, it has a more serious feeling, doesn\u2019t it!? So, I went home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn\u2019t sleep a wink in order to learn my lines\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t really know myself how I managed to memorize them!! But I did! This was my first experience that made me think humans can discover amazing abilities when they\u2019re pushed to the brink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I didn\u2019t think about that until afterwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The next day was the opening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I arrived at the theatre in the morning, I asked the director, \u201cWill I be substituting after all?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But he replied, \u201cWe don\u2019t know yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat am I supposed to do with my makeup, then?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust do something that will work for either Ricardo or Francois.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The decision finally came, 30 minutes before the curtain opened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNanao-san will be performing,\u201d was the decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAhh~, thank goodness!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I sighed in relief, but.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I suddenly noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My\u2026actual role\u2026had completely vanished from my head!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n And also, I hadn\u2019t done any stage rehearsal as Ricardo\u2026 What should I do\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was totally shocked when I realized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My voice wouldn\u2019t come out!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The day before, when I was so hot and sweating like my blouse was on fire, that had probably been a bad sign. Even so, if I had rested properly in a warm bed, I might have been fine, but\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, but, but\u2026 I had been so desperate\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hadn\u2019t even noticed that my voice wasn\u2019t working\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n All the blood drained out of my face and I went completely white.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the time of performance was coming closer and closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the role I had been supposed to play in the first place, Ricardo, had. A solo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDirector! If I sing like this the audience won\u2019t be able to hear me at all!! Please, at least get someone else to sing for me!!\u201d I pleaded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo. The song only has a point because you\u2019re the one singing it. It doesn\u2019t matter how your voice is, but you have to sing it,\u201d Director Masatsuka said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s like a scene in a coming-of-age movie, but it was real life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I went on stage in my original role of Ricardo. I was totally in a daze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then the curtain fell on the opening performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had been in such a bewildered state that I had no idea whether I\u2019d been able to speak or sing properly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After the performance, Director Masatsuka came up to me. \u201cYou were amazing today!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just started crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t that I was miserable. Well, they weren\u2019t exactly happy tears either. All the emotions from the time I had spent in a daze hit me at once and burst out through my eyes and throat like a fountain of crying. That kind of feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know that\u2019s kind of an overused metaphor, but anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did it!! I did it!! I was able to do it!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I thought that, I felt like I had discovered something new about myself in all that confusion. I was inspired. And also a bit more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was such a hard trial\u2026 But that\u2019s what opportunities always are, as a stage performer, maybe\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I thought:<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you think \u2018I can\u2019t do this\u2019, then you won\u2019t be able to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you think \u2018I can do this\u2019, then you will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In any case, you have to try!<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you try, you might learn something new, or develop somehow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although it was a tumultuous start to my first Bow performance, for the stage performer Mori Keaki it was a really valuable experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After that, I wasn\u2019t scared of anything!! \u2026No, I couldn\u2019t say that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After all!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mori Keaki\u2019s challenges only continued!<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1 – The website for the Hankyu Cultural Archives has an image of the show’s poster here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of … Continue reading
I would play Ricardo, the leader of a troupe of mercenaries – what a cool role!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n