Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible. 120% Darling has around 24 chapters, and I plan to post one every Friday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a table of contents with links to all the chapters, go here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Grandpa, thank you~ <3<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Moving on a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After becoming second supporting star, I had made many moving new \u2018discoveries\u2019, but.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those barriers!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n They were still clinging on a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What finally got rid of them was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I was given the role of Johann Brunner in Three Waltzes.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Strangely enough\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mori Keaki\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Was going to play a little old man!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh. And a rather rough-mannered old man, too\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I first heard about it I thought \u201cHuh~!? A grandpa!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The setup of Three Waltzes<\/em> is such that the lead plays the protagonist, as well as his own son and then grandson. The story covers a very long span of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, my role was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A person who watched over all three generations, father, son, and grandson. I was the only \u2018full-length role\u2019; my character kept the same name and identity through the whole show. And, as time passed in the plot, I would be aging onstage\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the end, I would be an 80-year-old grandpa!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I ended up being rather stressed about this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After all, Mori Keaki\u2019s personal brand was that of a cool (?) second supporting otokoyaku star, so\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut\u2026me!? Playing a little old man\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I heard of fans saying \u201cI don\u2019t want to see Mori Keaki-san looking like that!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt will ruin the image of Mori Keaki as a handsome romantic guy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe should refuse to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe should just quit!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A ton of people were totally against the whole thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was the role I was given.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I got the script.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I went into rehearsals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ah!<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was actually really simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I love acting, you see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I ended up enjoying playing that \u2018grandpa\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI see it now! That\u2019s it, that\u2019s totally it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn\u2019t feel like I had to worry about keeping up my handsome image at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Somehow I felt a lot of affection for myself as I was playing this 80-year-old man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s right. If I just try, I can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And doing it was really fun! It was so happy! So fulfilling!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know I\u2019m praising myself here, but playing that little old man made me much more aware of the fact I was an actor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before I am second supporting star, I am an actor, I felt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The complaints hadn\u2019t stopped by the time the show opened, but.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo matter what role I play, Mori Keaki is still Mori Keaki!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I told them not to worry but to wait for the show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPlaying a grandpa is really fun~!\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I brushed off those doubts that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Besides, it really was so much fun!<\/p>\n\n\n\n My determination of my junior student days that \u2018I\u2019m gonna be a real man!!\u2019 was long gone by now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I thought a lot about how the person called Johann Brunner would live, whether he would be like this or like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether the character was a man or a woman didn\u2019t come into it at all. He was just a human\u2026a person. I tried to fill in things that hadn\u2019t been written in the script using my imagination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve always been the type to try to fully transform myself, after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As the days went on, I absorbed Brunner\u2019s character more and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I felt if I could become him, I could naturally age the way he would have over the course of the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And once again, just like the prior examples (!!), while I was playing an old man, my back would ache, and my knees would ache, and my spine would get stiff\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, after I was done performing as the little old man, in the finale I went back to being a handsome otokoyaku, why, nothing ached at all. I felt chipper and full of energy!! I felt like I could kick higher than ever!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was a bit surprised at myself, honestly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I really loved being an \u2018actor\u2019, by nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also\u2026and here I am, singing my own praises again\u2026the white wig I wore as an old man\u2026really suited me, actually. The whiskers, too. Ahaha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once the show actually opened, the people who had been against it started saying \u201cI wish I had a grandpa like that!\u201d so I could feel comfortable about that front as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The role of an 80-year-old man, so much older than my genuine age\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n There had never been anyone like that inside the barriers the real \u2018Mori Keaki\u2019 had been so desperately holding up for so long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Somehow, as soon as I had fully transformed into him, \u2018Grandpa Brunner\u2019 said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow, now, youngster. What on earth are you doing, shutting yourself away like this? What a waste! The world is so big! It\u2019s so much fun! Why don\u2019t you let yourself relax a bit?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Smiling all the while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He turned the \u2018Off\u2019 switch for Mori Keaki\u2019s barriers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s how I think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is also when I began to feel even more strongly, \u201cIt\u2019s so wonderful to be an actor, isn\u2019t it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After all, it gave me the opportunity to experience the lives of so many different people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People from other countries than Japan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n From all different eras.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of all different ages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, in the case of Takarazuka, men and women both!<\/p>\n\n\n\n But.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSince it\u2019s Takarazuka\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even as an 80-year-old man, I had to be beautiful!! I had to convey dreams!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n This situation reaffirmed that for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I suddenly recalled my time as a Ken-1 student, when I would \u2018tail\u2019 the neighborhood joggers (my father was a policeman, so I\u2019m really familiar with all that jargon).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Back when my younger self believed \u2018portraying reality is the most important thing!!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell. Everyone has times like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mori Keaki had grown up enough to look back on that and smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the Takarazuka stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First, be splendidly beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is the most essential, non-negotiable thing. The foundation for everything\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n And on top of that, in order to give a performance that moves the audience\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy heart actually aches\u2026My heart is actually cold\u2026My heart is actually kind\u2026 To be an actor is to be in complete control of your own heart. If you are able to truly influence the hearts of those who watch you\u2026then you can say \u2018I can really act!\u2019 for the first time, can\u2019t you!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026after discovering this sort of thing, I was able to settle into the position \u2018Mori Keaki\u2019 held in Takarazuka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh!! Or rather, maybe this is something Grandpa Brunner taught Mori Keaki, when she transformed into him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Which is it!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It doesn\u2019t really matter to me either way. This one thing I know for sure, though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grandpa Brunner is Mori Keaki\u2019s greatest patron.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope he continues to have a long life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thank you!! So!! much!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of … Continue reading