{"id":952,"date":"2018-11-09T17:11:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-10T00:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/?p=952"},"modified":"2021-01-09T20:47:53","modified_gmt":"2021-01-10T03:47:53","slug":"mori-keaki-120-darling-part-2-chapter-2-i-have-to-be-like-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/09\/mori-keaki-120-darling-part-2-chapter-2-i-have-to-be-like-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Mori Keaki – 120% Darling: Part 2 Chapter 2 – I have to be like Dad!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible.

It\u2019s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!

For a table of contents with links to all the chapters, go\u00a0here.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

I have to be like Dad!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The upbringing at my house was very hands-off, but in a good way, I think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being ordered \u2018Do this!!\u2019 was a thing that basically didn\u2019t happen at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Could you do this? It would be better that way. You see, that\u2019s because\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They would explain kindly and clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I said, \u2018I understand\u2019, and nodded\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright, if you do it, or not, is up to \u2018Little Miko\u2019 now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t unsupervised, but they would never fuss at us over every little thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It felt more like they were watching over us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children are actually surprisingly perceptive about this kind of thing, right!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMiko. There\u2019s an old saying that \u2018The ripened rice bows its head.\u2019 The more rice grows on it, the more it bows\u2026 Do you understand!? You see, no matter what kind of living thing, nothing can become its full self without the help of others. There\u2019s always something helping raise it. Of course there\u2019s us, since we are your parents. But there are also so many other people besides your Papa and Mama who love you and want you to do your best, and keep helping you. Therefore, if you always keep those feelings of gratitude, you will naturally be humble.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in my small heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt, \u2018So that\u2019s how it is\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then one morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were doing radio exercises in the garden,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And my father cheerfully called out \u2018Good morning!!\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had never seen the person walking by our house before, so I asked my dad \u2018Who was that?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And he said \u2018Since he\u2019s walking around here, he must be someone from the neighborhood\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I thought \u2018I see~\u2019 and starting from the next day, if there was someone passing by our house in the morning, I would greet them cheerfully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another time, my father said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Also, if you see policemen like Papa, you ought to say \u2018thank you\u2019 to them. And also, if you see someone and you think \u2018they look like they\u2019re having a really hard time\u2019, don\u2019t you think it would be good if you said something to them, and gave them even just a little bit of help? Even if it\u2019s someone you\u2019ve never spoken to before. Say hello, and smile at them, and try to help them out a bit. That wouldn\u2019t be too unpleasant, would it? If you were in that situation, would you not like that sort of thing?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like that\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since it was easy to understand, I would start doing those things of my own accord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, even though I was a child, I developed a strong sense of responsibility!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Definitely\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, I thought:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Papa is amazing!! I have to be like Papa!!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would be so fired up!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, since I was so determined, if I happened to go against my father\u2019s wishes\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if it was just a little accident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My feelings of guilt would be so terrible!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This story I\u2019m going to tell you happened when I was in my fifth year of elementary school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was having fun playing with a ball one day (this wasn\u2019t allowed inside my house!),<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I broke my father\u2019s falcon statue that he had been given by the police department to commemorate his 20 years of service!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t mean to!! Of course I would but I just felt \u2018Ah!?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was petrified. I went completely white.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if I hadn\u2019t meant to, I had still broken something really important to my father, something he\u2019d been given by the police department\u2026!! I had done something I couldn\u2019t take back\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What to do, what to do, what to do\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was such a bad situation\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was so full of remorse that I went into the closet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t that I wanted to escape from my father\u2019s scolding\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo\u2026 If I had wanted to run away, I would have gone to one of my friend\u2019s houses\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Young Miko put herself in jail\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, in this situation, my mother wasn\u2019t really able to have the level of sympathy she should have for her own daughter, maybe\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though I was already feeling so much guilt, she said \u2018I don\u2019t know what will happen\u2026 Ah, Papa is going to be so angry with you!\u2019 and laid even more pressure on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I waited in the closet for my father to come home, with tears rolling down my cheeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe\u2019s definitely going to yell at me tonight\u2026\u2026 Maybe he\u2019ll even shake his fist at me\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, since I had done something wrong, there was nothing to do but apologize\u2026 Right!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How long did I wait like that\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a child\u2019s perception, it felt like half a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But definitely, in real life, it was only about an hour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could tell my father had come home\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hurriedly scrubbed the tears off my cheeks\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was waiting. For him to yell \u2018Come out of there!!\u2019 in a really scary voice\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then, my dad said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLittle Miko, it\u2019s okay. You can come out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his usual kind, kind voice!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI understand\u2026 Don\u2019t worry about it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through the door of the closet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, when I dejectedly came out of the closet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything that has a physical shape has to break someday\u2026 You see, Little Miko, even if that statue is broken, it doesn\u2019t change anything about your Papa\u2019s 20 years working for the police department.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My father was so warm and big-hearted that the young me felt even more,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI did something really bad!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So those feelings all welled up even more and I started crying even more than before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPapa~! I\u2019m so sorry~!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actually, to my young self, feeling like<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I have to pay even more attention to what\u2019s going on around me!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And not being able to stop crying for a while, is still a very clear and good memory for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026\u2026And,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought a lot about what my area of responsibility was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That sort of thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or what it was to have a capacity to \u2018acknowledge\u2019 or \u2018forgive\u2019\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That sort of thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLeave aside the physical. What is actually real\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I learned this from my father\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An example of the episodes that became these teaching opportunities,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was the Case of the Broken Falcon Statue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[255,256,362,355,189],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=952"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":953,"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952\/revisions\/953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=952"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=952"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zukalations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=952"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}