Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of unique, and I tried to reproduce or reflect it as much as possible. 120% Darling has around 24 chapters, and I plan to post one every Friday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a really lovely book, that ended up making me cry many times. I hope you enjoy it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a table of contents with links to all the chapters,\u00a0go here.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Shock of depression, shock of happiness<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n After I joined Takarazuka\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I often will be asked during interviews,<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHuh? Ms. Mori. You\u2019re from Sendai, right? Why did you come to Takarazuka for your entrance exam, instead of going to Tokyo?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can always see the reporters\u2019 faces saying \u201cWhy would you come all the way to Kansai!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I answer,<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI wanted to see the inside of the Takarazuka Music School.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rather than thinking I would become a Takarazuka student, I had a stronger feeling of \u2018I want to see what it\u2019s like in the Takarazuka Music School for myself! I want to feel it!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n So.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut what if I took the exam in Tokyo and failed in the first round!?\u201d (From the second round on, everyone must come to Takarazuka for the exams)<\/p>\n\n\n\n It would be all over without my setting one foot inside the Takarazuka Music School!<\/p>\n\n\n\n And if I took the exam in Kansai, the examination venue would be the Takarazuka Music School even for the first round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I still remember that feeling: \u201cEven if I fail, I at least want to get inside once!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, my sister and I, according to plan, stayed in the Hankyu Travel Hostel for the first round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the way there, I was full of confidence, and displayed all my usual optimism. \u201cAfter all, I worked hard in all my lessons, so I\u2019ll probably pass, right!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I already felt like I was a Takarasienne!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n But my sister\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n After all, she was more mature than I was at the time, of course (!?).<\/p>\n\n\n\n She wasn\u2019t as excited as I was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I only heard about this afterwards, but she had pinned all her hopes on my examination number, #423, and would get up every morning at 4:23 AM to pray for me (\u2018It became a habit so I ended up waking up at the same time the day after you passed!\u2019 she said, and seemed really annoyed about it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her cheerful sister hadn\u2019t noticed any of that, and just went to take the exam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To be honest, I was totally flustered about everything, but I cleared the first round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then came the second round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In this round, everyone is tested on ballet and voice to a much higher level than the first round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I got to this point, I finally was able to relax just enough to look around me for the first time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWow~ Everyone is so pretty!! They all sing and dance like pros!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then,<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was so shocked by everything around me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n That during the vocal exam,<\/p>\n\n\n\n When it came to the \u2018New Song\u2019 portion (where I had to sing from sheet music I was given on the spot) I just\u2026just\u2026couldn\u2019t get it, and after I tried again 9 times, they told me \u2018That\u2019s quite enough\u2019\u2026boo-hoo\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n And in the ballet exam,<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I was supposed to bend to the side, the teacher overseeing the exam said \u2018Is that as far as you can go?\u2019 so I thought \u2018Alright~!\u2019 and bent wa~y over, but then the teacher scolded \u2018If you could do that, you should have done it in the first place\u2019\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the interview exam,<\/p>\n\n\n\n The really famous Director Utsumi1<\/sup> (I didn\u2019t know anything at the time, and since I didn\u2019t know I wasn\u2019t afraid of anything either!!) said \u201cSo, are there actually have places where you can learn ballet and things in Sendai?\u201d and I was So Offended that I took three steps forward from the line where I was supposed to be standing, and said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere are!! Sendai is a city!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n With such an impolite attitude\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh\u2026I shouldn\u2019t have done that!! That was so bad!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I failed\u2026\u2019 I thought. This would put even me and all my optimism down in the dumps!<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then the next day,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Was the final interview\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was one student who made me think,<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018She\u2019s definitely going to pass.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n This was the young lady right in front of me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n She was a real beauty, and she could raise her legs so high doing ballet\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n We ended up getting on rather well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When she came out of her interview,<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was standing there next in line with my heart pounding,<\/p>\n\n\n\n And she very kindly told me \u2018By the way, they asked me about my hobbies and things~\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then,<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was finally my turn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The question the teacher overseeing the exam asked was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is your father\u2019s occupation? Where do they live currently? Have your parents given their agreement to this sort of profession?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nothing about me personally at all\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n All the answers I had thought up were useless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh, yes!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did my best to answer their questions, but\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n When it ended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I left the examination room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh\u2026 I couldn\u2019t do it at all\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They had asked me totally different things from what she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, because of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I ended up even more depressed than I had been the day before, and ended up in an even lower place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then the results day came.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m fine without seeing the results presentation~. I\u2019m happy that I was able to go inside the Music School. I\u2019m satisfied with that!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n To her stubbornly resistant younger sister\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n My down-to-earth older sister said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEven if you did fail, let\u2019s at least go and see the results presentation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the way, the time of year when students enter the Takarazuka Music School is exactly when the cherry blossoms are at their fullest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And at the time of the results presentation,<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a shower of cherry blossoms as if to set the stage for all the joys and sorrows of my dream of Takarazuka\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I was walking with my sister towards the Music School, somehow, I just stopped moving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My feet\u2026wouldn\u2019t go any further.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You see, up ahead, young girls were returning with tears pouring down their faces like the falling cherry blossoms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Actually,<\/p>\n\n\n\n That day, the two optimistic sisters had overslept, and didn\u2019t make it to the results presentation on time. Ehehe\u2026 I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And so,<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just couldn\u2019t move another step\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSister, you go look\u2026\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, you\u2026\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then I watched from behind as my sister disappeared into the school courtyard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thump, thump, thump, my heart was pounding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve had some pretty good signs \u2018you didn\u2019t make it!\u2019\u2026 I\u2019m already prepared for this!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stubbornly tried not to give in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thump, thump, thump, thump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I saw my sister running back\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thump!<\/p>\n\n\n\n It felt like my heart had suddenly stopped\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour number is there~!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My sister was shouting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She was waving her right arm above her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her long hair was flying\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s there!! It\u2019s there!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My stopped heart,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Started racing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My voice wouldn\u2019t come!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I waved back to my sister with all my might\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did it!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n My blood started pumping eagerly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thank you, sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thank you, God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But actually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thinking about it later\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n That question during the interview.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I thought about it carefully, I realized that they had actually asked me something incredibly valuable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Asking about my family, which was far, far more important to me than hobbies or anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I didn\u2019t realize that at all, and ended up getting depressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thinking about that now,<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was so young, and empty-headed, and so honest you could say it was stupid\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Surely, even the cherry blossoms in Takarazuka,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Must have laughed to see me\u2026I think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, to tell the truth\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n The cherry blossoms<\/p>\n\n\n\n That day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I still remember them clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n They were so beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1 – Utsumi Shigenori was one of the most prominent playwrights and directors for Takarazuka in the 50s and 60s, and worked with the company until the late 1980s.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Mori Keaki published this essay book the month before her retirement as Top Star of Snow Troupe. It is mainly a memoir of her personal journey in Takarazuka, as well as her early life. Her writing\/formatting style is kind of … Continue reading
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